Like when I fell in the lake
and learned how to swim?
I can feel posidens grip
upon my skin.
The desperation,
the fear within.
The doors are all the same with no bells to ring,
no handles to pull,
no gaps to peek.
I raise the white flag,
my will so weak.
Could you ever love
a retired circus freak?
I dreamt of you sometime last night.
I blame you for the babies
I shall never hold and name.
For being starved of smiles
and a glutton for shame.
So sad is the sight
to see a clown in pain.
And I dreamt of her the night before.
I touched her arm,
I asked her "why?"
Maybe things will be clearer
when I am up high?
Upon the big top
is where I shall decide -
whether to live,
or whether to fly.
[Image not owned by me]
How come you never talk about some kind of career in writing when you discuss what jobs you are considering? Because that was certainly good. You even won a poetry contest! It's also clear from this blog that you are a gifted writer. And if you ever get anything published, you have at least one guaranteed customer right here.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Merriam :) I have always wanted to be a writer...ever since I was a little girl. I was always writing stories and extra homework projects to give to my teachers. But it's something that is very special to me, something I would be devastated by if I never became successful with it,as in if I was rejected. So sometimes I don't include it in my list of career options as it makes it more real to me...the possiblity of my inner thoughts being rejected. I think it's down to lack of self belief and insane perfectionism really :)
ReplyDeleteAnd thank you very much for your kind words :)