Like when I fell in the lake
and learned how to swim?
I can feel posidens grip
upon my skin.
The desperation,
the fear within.
The doors are all the same with no bells to ring,
no handles to pull,
no gaps to peek.
I raise the white flag,
my will so weak.
Could you ever love
a retired circus freak?
I dreamt of you sometime last night.
I blame you for the babies
I shall never hold and name.
For being starved of smiles
and a glutton for shame.
So sad is the sight
to see a clown in pain.
And I dreamt of her the night before.
I touched her arm,
I asked her "why?"
Maybe things will be clearer
when I am up high?
Upon the big top
is where I shall decide -
whether to live,
or whether to fly.
[Image not owned by me]
